Terrible Films – The Quest for the Mighty Sword (1990)

ten bucks certainly can’t buy much these days; a measly movie ticket, maybe a six pack, a mess of cheap tacos, or a beer at a ball game.  oddly enough, ten dollars can sometimes buy you a movie.  want to be a filmmaker?  grab your beefiest best friend, a ratty blonde weave, some fur covered fruit of the looms, a few dwarves for a little “lord of the rings” flavor, and get to filming.  that’s exactly what the makers of The Quest for the Mighty Sword did.  vomit inducing dialog?  check.  cookie cutter, fifth grade school play quality, 80’s porn-esque backdrops?  check.  absolutely, incredibly, mindbendingly ridiculous storyline?  you know it.  a dude with a sword that fights robot?  all i can say is wow.  i truly don’t think anyone ever successfully pulled off a conan meets battlestar galactica mix.  this flick takes you down a dark alley that you’d normally avoid at all costs, lest you get stabbed unmercifully.  the film follows a guy named ator on his journey to free his people from a magically evil dwarf troll (like you really care what this movie is about), while battling mythical creatures along the way.  that pretty much sums it up; the key to watching a flick like this is keeping an open mind, and trying really hard not to take it seriously.  surprisingly, director joe d’amato did.  c’mon, dude…this ain’t conan, and you ain’t scorcese.

note – this movie scored a whopping 1.6/10 rating on IMDB.com.  just sayin’.

another note – this is still my brother Khalid’s favorite movie of all time.  i’m serious.


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