The Academy Awards came on recently, and though I tend to avoid awards shows these days, it was interesting to see the various actors and actresses put on their masks and play the role of glittering ‘stars’ for the world to admire and emulate and dissect.  The globe is indeed obsessed with the concept of celebrity, and people will do seemingly anything to get a piece of their favorites.  Their every move is followed, scrutinized, critiqued, and discussed, and as a result, they develop a god-like persona that keeps them posted up and unattainable atop a sky high pedestal.  At any rate, I don’t buy into the celebrity hocus pocus, don’t glorify them ad infinitum, and don’t succumb to the idolatrous hero worship, but watching the Oscars does remind me that dreams and goals are attainable.

Above all, those actors honored with nominations and those that won silverware were people that sought to become what they wanted to be.  That much is true.  Underneath it all, and before they were ‘stars’, they were just regular folk armed with a dream and some balls…balls enough to take a solid crack at an elusive goal.  Whether they became actors, animators, writers, directors, sound editors, or some random and nameless dude behind the scenes, they made it to the Everest of award shows and were recognized for their achievements by the highest organization in their field.  They started out just like the rest of us (albeit with a bit more luck in many cases no doubt), and made it to the top.  It’s a frank reminder that no only do dreams exist, but they can be had and are there for the taking for those courageous enough to set out and go get them.

Success is a beautiful thing.  It’s wonderful witnessing the manifestation of a goal, of a work recognized, and the satisfaction of a job well done.  How many of us get to not only see the end product of our work, but to do it in style, in front of our peers and a few hundred million admirers?  They are artists at the pinnacle of their craft, artists that have displayed their true A-game; in my opinion, it’s a great reminder that if you want something, no matter how big or unrealistic it seems, you can have it if you’re willing to go the distance.  If you’re willing to work for it, sweat for it, and keep on going when it seems like all is lost and that your destination is an impossibility.  Those folks that graced the stage started just where the rest of us are now, but they made it to the top.  Luck, fate, determination, courage, grit, and all the rest came into play, but they made it.  That says something.

I’ve always said that some of the best movies can be seen on a quiet Saturday morning; there’s some good fertilizer in that crisp Saturday morning air that gives blossom to great movie viewing.  It’s fun to catch a great picture from start to finish in the gray of the morning before the world wakes up, and before you owe the day any of your time, or anything to anyone.  Some of the best films I’ve ever seen have been scoped on mornings just like that, free of burden, free of care, and with a surplus of time.  When we were kids, my sister and I made it a goal to watch as many of the American Film Institute’s Top 100 films of all time in one summer; I can’t recall just how many we saw, but we gained some good ground while she was in town.  One of my favorites from that summer was 1944’s Double Indemnity, starring Fred MacMurray and Barbary Stanwyck, so I decided to give that old classic a go this morning with my coffee.

Director Billy Wilder’s Double Indemnity is film noir at its finest; the dialogue was as thick and sultry as the lingering cigarette smoke, the script was as complex and detailed as the bourbon they drank, and the characters were as cool and slick and breezy as a mid May afternoon.  The cinematography was a dimly lit tapestry of finely weaved shots that suffused the story with an air of gritty believability, and added a hefty and necessary dose of grim weight to the subject matter.  The sturdy Fred MacMurray played Walter Neff, a hot shot top insurance salesman who fell instantly for the brazen and deceptively conniving Phyllis Dietrichson, played icily by Stanwyck.  Neff falls hard for the allure of Mrs. Dietrichson, who convincingly lures the haplessly love struck Neff into a plot to knock off her husband after taking out a life insurance policy on him.  The venerable Edward G. Robinson, star of a horde of gangster films and early Hollywood gems, played the feisty and meticulously detailed Barton Keyes; a remarkably intelligent Sherlock Holmes-esqe claims adjuster with a knack for sniffing out mischief.

The dark and brooding undertones of the film set a castle solid foundation of deceit, mystery, and intrigue that was so effectively present in the classics of the 40’s and 50’s, and earned the film seven Oscar nominations, including Best Picture.

Born to a Barbadian carpenter and an Englishwoman, Tull was a renown professional soccer player (having played for Tottenham Hotspur and Northampton Town), and was the first black commissioned infantry officer in the British Army.  Upon the death of his parents, young Tull was sent to an orphanage along with his brother, who interestingly enough, became Great Britain’s first black practicing dentist.  Tull’s soccer career flourished, making many first team appearances for his clubs before he enlisted in the infantry at the outbreak of World War I.

Tull distinguished himself on the battlefield, and was commissioned as Second Lieutenant in 1917, despite the British Army forbidding persons of color to hold such rank.  He fought in 6 major engagements, was noted for gallantry, and was recommended for a Military Cross.  Tull was killed in France in 1918, just 8 months before the war’s end.

When The History Channel launched in 1995, I thought I was in heaven.  I remember seeing an advertisement for the channel some months before it first aired, and I about crapped my pants out of pure joy; an entire channel devoted solely to history?  It sounded like a dream!  And for a long time, it was.  At any given time, you could flip that bad boy on and spend hours watching specials on WWII, the Civil War, and all sorts of historically relevant goodness.  The network even launched History International, which focused more on world events.  It was a great time to be a history fan, no doubt, with all of those gems tucked neatly into one amazing channel.

Then the reality TV boom hit, and just like that, the fabled joy of historical television went the way of the passenger pigeon.  I was flipping channels this morning and happened to see a WWII documentary on- and I did a double take.  The History Channel was actually showing history?  Was my brain playing a trick on me?  What’s the world coming to?  The channel has gone the way of MTV (and seemingly every other channel, for that manner), and almost exclusively airs reality programming.  It’s all day Appalachian Outlaws (you’ve gotta me be kidding me on that one), Mountain Men, Ax Men, Ice Road Truckers, Swamp People (c’mon now), Pawn Stars, and a slew of absolute junk that has zero to do with anybody’s history.  It makes me wonder why the hell I don’t have a show…I couldn’t do any worse than The Legend of Shelby the Swamp Man, right?  Why even call it the History Channel, then?

I do think that it’s an absolute crime that kids today (and the majority of adults for that matter) know more about Snookie and the Housewives, Bieber, and the Kardashians than they do about the events that have shaped the climate of the world they live in.  And a channel like the History Channel, the ultimate platform for promoting the genre, only showing shock value garbage like Cajun Pawn Stars, is pure blasphemy.  It’s a testament to the consistent dumbing down of the American public at the hands of mainstream media.  As long as folks keep watching Duck Dynasty, networks will keep putting that meal onto our plates.  I’m not insulting anyone for their viewing tastes, mind you, but rather the lack of variety or intellectual fare available.  As it stands, no channel really shows much of anything anymore- it’s pretty much a steady stream of reality TV; channels like the History Channel (or Discovery, A&E, and other channels that have abandoned any attempt at relevance) have the power to fill a great void, but manage to maintain a viewer base with shows created purely for the wow factor (Honey Boo Boo, anyone?).  It says a lot when the American public knows more about who won American Idol than they do about who won the Civil War.  That’s just my take on it.

Hello there, post number 300!  I’m actually pretty surprised that I’ve posted quite so many times over the years.  It all sort of crept up on me.  This is my 300^th post, so I got to thinking about what I’ve learned as a result of all this writing.  I decided to forgo a poem, a movie review, a Distinguished Dude, or some Essential Egon; instead, I resolved to make a few brief points.

What I’ve discovered is that you truly can’t be afraid to reinvent yourself- you can’t be afraid to fail.  Failure is as common as anything that we’ll experience in life, but it should be viewed as a tool rather than a fear.  There is no effort without a bit of failure, and that failure will ultimately teach us how to tweak things next time.  We will hopefully learn from them, make the necessary adjustments, and move forward.  Realistically, we can’t be angry with ourselves, or with anyone for that matter, if we refused to even try.  Giving something a genuine shot is step one.  I spoke to an old friend over the weekend (and when a 95 year old gives you life tips, you’d better listen), and one of the things she said was “when you’re young, you can always start over; you can do anything.”  Those words hit home.  Time flies and goes on, yes, but one can always start again.  Life is full of second chances and new beginnings.  There are a bazillion cliches and Lifetime movies that coincide with that theme.  You can always overcome, persevere, and be the person that you’ve always dreamed of being.  It’s true.  Hearing her say that reminded me that it’s never too late, despite the rapid tick of the clock.

It’s true that time flies exponentially the older we get, but we’re lucky and blessed just to have made it this far; plenty of people whose time came and went would love to be in our shoes right about now.  Each day is the first word of a new sentence, a paragraph, a page, and we are the writer as well as the reader.  Don’t like the current page?  Write a new one.

What I’ve learned, essentially, is that you just keep going.  Plain and simple.  You keep on pushing.  Odds?  What odds?  Challenges?  Bring ‘em on.  Create your own fate, your own destiny.  People talk of destiny as if one is required to follow the path laid before us, cookie cutter style.  Fuck that; bulldoze your own trail if need be- steamroll that shit and construct a destiny that will satisfy you.  Defy the stereotypical norm; there are no expectations except those that society puts forth.  Buck the trend; all that matters, all the tools that we need, are inside of us.  We were born equipped with all of the things we seek externally.  We are like human Swiss army knives- capable, durable (and often full of a bunch of shit that we don’t need), and ready for any challenge that the universe throws at us.  It’s our choice though, to be ready for that challenge when it comes.  One day needs to be TOday, and TOmorrow just as often needs to morph into TOday.  Break that backburner…don’t relegate anything to that joint.  Whatever gets put back there inevitably gets scorched, torched, and destroyed.

Keep those dreams lucid, but make a solid plan to help them materialize.  Lay a foundation; no hefty idea is solid and robust without one.  Dreams do no good collecting dust in that old brain of yours, right?  A dream is just a random thought until you lay that foundation.  True resolve comes from DOING.

Go write.
Go draw.
Go run.
Go study.
Go to the bathroom.
Go do whatever – just do something.

The key is less sitting and more doing.  Don’t kick yourself for never having tried.  Try something old, or new, or different, and discover what it is that makes you happy.  Go find that happy; it’s out there right now, just waiting for you – you’ll know it when you see it.*

Frost on a summer day:
all I leave behind is water
that has washed my brush.
-Shutei

Cicada shell:
little did I know
it was my life.
-Shuho

How leisurely the
cherry blossoms bloom this year,
unhurried by their doom.
-Kin’U

Though I tarry
on the road my master took,
above us glows one moon.
Isaibo

You cannot tell
its taste to him
who never tasted blowfish.
-Daibai

Farewell-
I pass as all things do
dew on the grass.
-Banzan

Life is like a cloud of mist
Emerging from a mountain cave
And death
A floating moon
In its celestial course.
If you think to much
About the meaning they may have
You’ll be bound forever
Like an ass to a stake.
-Mumon Gensen

Life is an ever-rolling wheel
And every day is the right one
He who recites poems at his death
Adds frost to snow.
-Mumon Gensen

Autumn wind of eve,
blow away the clouds that mass
over the moon’s pure light
and the mists that cloud our mind,
do thou sweep away as well.
Now we disappear,
well, what must we think of it?
From the sky we came.
Now we may go back again.
That’s at least one point of view.
-Hojo Ujimasa

Whether one passes on or remains is all the same.
That you can take no one with you is the only difference.
Ah, how pleasant! Two awakenings and one sleep.
This dream of a fleeing world! The roseate hues of early dawn!
-Tokugawa Ieyasu

Even a life-long prosperity is but one cup of sake;
A life of forty-nine years is passed in a dream;
I know not what life is, nor death.
Year in year out-all but a dream.
Both Heaven and Hell are left behind;
I stand in the moonlit dawn,
Free from clouds of attachment.
-Uesugi Kenshin

Death poems
are mere delusion-
death is death.
-Toko

A face masked in blue,
and partitioned by the shadows of
midnight-
on hands and knees atop the crust of
winter,
warm breath was spewed into the
starlight,
there to mingle with the moon,
full and reflective and stern-
tears descended like lost raindrops
and burrowed into the snow-
all the caterpillar wants is
change,
the warmth of comfort,
and the peace of certainty and
understanding-
it is there, wrapped tightly beneath
unfurled wings*

The summit is for those who do not fear the perils of the climb.

It is the general whose mind remains squarely focused on the battles of the past whose tactics will be unprepared for the wars of the future.

When you want something more than you can comprehend, your motivation to succeed has got to be stronger than your motivation to quit.