Every kid wants to be something important
when they grow up,
something significant
and larger than life-
kids are amazed by firefighters
and entranced by police officers and
soldiers and inventors and athletes-
dreams turn into goals though, and then
life washes over them all like a great rogue
wave,
scattering some, binding others,
and ultimately altering the landscape-
I always wanted to be an archaeologist,
much like Indiana Jones; basking in adventure,
zig zagging the globe, kicking Nazi ass, and making
prestigious discoveries-
I always dreamed of being a scientist,
spending my days theorizing and analyzing
and experimenting-
I always considered becoming a biologist,
dissecting and researching and peeling back
the many layers of our reality-
I never was able to become those things,
but oddly enough, I did-
I did become all that I’d wanted,
in my own way-
I never got to explore long forgotten lands,
but I have explored the deep caverns of my
thoughts-
inside are my pyramids-
inside are my shattered tombs-
inside are my moss covered golden palaces,
just waiting to be discovered time and again-
along the way,
people became tangled passageways,
and mistakes became burial mounds-
fresh experiences became new formulas,
and each smile became a new species-
I have encountered habitable worlds
and distant planets,
new life, and ancient ones just the same-
and I have barely scratched the surface-
sand dunes and temples and dried out
remains,
jungles, and bounty and golden artifacts-
all inside-
I have yet to hack my way through a
sweltering jungle, but I have mapped the
landscape of my soul,
tirelessly hunting for my ground zero,
tirelessly seeking that point of origin-
my own big bang,
my own God particle-
my catacombs are lined with achievements
great and small,
failures, grand and insignificant-
and I have barely scratched the surface*