Category: Uncategorized

wishes and randomness on a wednesday morning.

when you close your eyes, what do you see? what do you hear? what smells float under your nose? i have my wishes and my dreams. when i close my eyes, i smell vibrant smells, see vivid images, and hear vivacious laughter. when i close my eyes, i see people…i see places. i hear music…i hear silence. i see bright sunshine…i see downpours. it is essentially another world that i can escape to. a refuge from my daily self. a place that i can go to relax on a beach, or to explore an undiscovered jungle. i can scale massive peaks there, or i can lie on my back in a grassy valley, just staring happily into the blue sky. i wish and dream all of the time.

harakiri pt.2

in the film, lack of employment is a major factor and the driving force behind the motives and actions of the main character.  he is a widowed former warrior who is forced to make umbrellas as a means of supporting his daughter, son in law, and grandson.  he is essentially destitute as a result of repeated attempts to make ends meet; the skills that he obtained through years of training are of no use.   in today’s world, i see a few loose similarities between having a degree and having warrior skills during peacetime; unemployment is so strikingly severe and widespread these days, that a degree is no guarantee of a job.  it didn’t matter how adept a samurai was back then, and it generally doesn’t matter how educated a job seeker is now.  in the enclosed film trailer, the main character states, “this thing we call samurai honor is ultimately nothing but a facade”; is the tradition of collecting a university certificate indicating that one has completed a series of courses also a thin facade?  just a thought.

harakiri

i look outside today into the grayness of mid april, and i’m being reminded of my favorite movie of all time, Harakiri. Harakiri is 1962 japanese cinematic brilliance; the story of an old ronin (masterless samurai) who falls on hard times. samurai were the masters of their craft, skilled in fighting techniques as well as the arts; during times of peace though, the fighting skills that earned them a living were useless. they were laid off, unemployed, cast out into a world with a talent that wasn’t needed. for some reason, the bleakness of today is reminiscent of the hard times that the main character was confronted with. we are confronted with some hard times of late, and the skills that we may have earned and acquired over the years could potentially be outdated, useless, or unneeded. it’s important in times such as these to keep a clear, positive head, and to be thankful for what we have and are able to do.

what do you want to be?

when you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? i wanted to be a doctor and a major, like my father, and would proclaim it loudly to the world. i really had no idea what it meant to be a doctor or a major in the armed forces, but it sure did sound cool. every boy loves guns and battle, so the major part sounded cool (especially since i was a huge G.I. Joe fan); and the doctor bit just sounded very important. on the flip side, i wanted to be a truck driver (just thought i’d mention that). it’s funny to think about wild childhood dreams, and how much they change as years pass, interests change, and reality hits. as i got older, my interests completely changed. i retained my interest in guns and battle, but didn’t want to join the military to enjoy them. i no longer wanted to be a doctor, as blood just seemed too bloody, and way too sloppy. by the time high school hit, i was clueless as to what i wanted to be. i entered college with the vague idea of marketing and advertising (which would still be cool), but ended up with history degree (which led me to a job in telecommunications). i love thinking about the freedom of the child’s mind; children aspire to be whatever they want. they are completely unaware of the hurdles that will inevitably cross their paths, and the challenges that they will ultimately face. it’s so easy for a kid to want to be something, and that’s great. but it’s harder for those dreams to translate well for the adult mind. we allow so many things to get in the way of who we want to be, and where we really need to be. we allow so many elements to serve as excuses for why we’re not leading the lives that we’re meant to lead. reality is just that; it’s real. but it’s really what we make it. think back to your childhood. what did you want to be? is that dream attainable? or did “real life” get in the way of where you want to be?

6-13-07

no rock rolls perfectly straight-
no path is without nicks
and holes-
no boundary is without
darkened zones-
every rock sets down
that path with good
intent-
but ends up where the road
wants it to*

an observation

the path of life is often like a four lane highway; paved, open, crowded, and able to get you to your destination quickly. sometimes though the old, time worn country road takes longer, but gives a whole lot more in return.

Comfort

What is comfort? Comfort and complacency seemingly go hand in hand; effort tends to subside once one is obtained. The resulting residue is a thin, memory rich layer that allows the affected individual to forget the drive that delivered them to comfort in the first place. The ideal mix of the two elements is the catalyst for restoration.

nostalgia

i’ve been on a very nostalgic kick lately; for the past 4 or 5 years, actually. i’m semi-obsessed with recapturing and re-thinking elements of my past; people, places, things. nothing is exempt. i think of old friends, old family, old coworkers, old vacations, old outings, old toys, old electronics, old music, old everything. for some reason, i became keenly aware of the fleeting aspects of time when i hit the age of 18, and i was and still am truly dumbfounded by the pace of it. the years between 18 and now (i just turned 30 on Feb. 20th) have been almost unbelievably fast. i mean, inexplicably lightning fast. turning 30 was not as catastrophic as i had envisioned though; it arrived rather smoothly and expectedly. i don’t think my nostalgic quest has anything to do with my being 30, but my getting older has everything to with it. each year seems to bring me farther away from those smiles, laughs, and ‘good old times’, but i think that solidifies the greatness of them. the fact that they’ve lived in my thoughts for so long really makes them special, and reinforces the fondness and respect that i have for them. i just need to remember the importance of living in the present; creating new memories to complement the old ones, and setting the pace for the multitude of future ‘good ol’ times’.

dreams

is it wrong to have dreams that are ‘larger than life’? is it better to live a ‘realistically’ grounded existence, free of expansive thought and spontaneity? i would rather live in dreams than accept the structure of a false reality. i would rather believe that anything is possible; that all things can be conceived and created. to live in a world of color, imagination, and growth, rather than the drab, cubicle-esque air of incorrectly labeled reality. what is reality, anyway? we create our own reality. we create our current mindset. we alone can create our sphere and cultivate the thoughts and mindsets that spill forth. it’s true that we’re heavily influenced by the ideologies set in motion by television, magazines, and general society; it’s easy to fall into this pre-existing, plastic world. it’s easy to fall prey to the notion that we ‘should’ do this, or ‘should’ do that. we’re all raised with a slew of these do’s and don’ts. it’s up to us to separate our needs and dreams from the pile of pre-determined mediocrity, and create a sturdy bridge over it for which to cross.