I had no real idea what I was doing.  I mean, I had a loose grasp of the general concepts, but the  actual execution was a different beast entirely.  The company tinkered with their methods and procedures so often that it was nearly impossible to keep up.  True proficiency was a fucking pipe dream.  Just when you got used to doing things one way, BOOM, they decided to change it up again…and for no good reason.  Their feeble and half-handed attempts at ‘training’, if that’s what you want to call it, were just a ridiculous ruse.  I literally had no idea what I was doing, and spent the bulk of every day winging it…and I did it for years.  Talk about disheartening; it’s the most depleted feeling inching your way to five o’clock blindly, in the dark, not knowing what the hell you’re doing.  For years.  Even after it’s been explained, because their explanations amounted to a fresh pile of zebra shit.

  There’s a great line at the end of the movie ‘The Usual Suspects’, where Kevin Spacey’s character states “the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn’t exist.”  I’ve gotta say, convincing this joint that I knew what I was doing, that I was a stand up, functioning employee, ranks up there with the greatest.