We’re halfway through the writing prompts!

Day 16 – If we assume ghosts are real, what type of ghost would you like to see?

Assuming ghosts are real, I don’t want to see any of them. I’d like to quote the Ghostbusters theme song and say “I ain’t ‘fraid of no ghosts”, but dude, ghosts are dead. In all honesty, if you’re dead, there’s no way that I should see you. That’s just against the laws of nature, science, and everything reasonable. Ghosts give themselves a bad name by hurling stuff around, slamming doors and making loud noises, and scaring the shit out of people. If they made more of an effort to have educated conversations or give meaningful advice, the thought of paranormal encounters may not be so bad.

Imagine a cool conversation with Abe Lincoln or some other historical figure. How cool would that be? I’d totally have a sit down with Harriet Tubman, toss back a few glasses of scotch with Frederick Douglass, or take a bite out of a massive chunk of mutton with Genghis Khan. That would be so much more insightful and productive than random plates flying through the air and my room being trashed. So assuming ghosts are real, they can do their thing, and I’ll do mine.

check out http://www.concreteorchid.com to see if Andrea is ‘fraid of those ghosts.

Day 15 – Create a character who is falsely accused of a crime.

Poor little Billy; perpetually considered the boy that cried wolf often enough that others refused to believe a word he said. Billy was ever the jokester, and got a massive kick out of spooking his friends and challenging the mores of normality. You could say that Billy was a slightly odd fellow; his obsession with Halloween masks in particular garnered him loads of attention during the month of October. Boys far and wide knew of his fancifully detailed and meticulously gruesome masks; in his collection were snarling wolves, smiling dwarves, a frowning leprechaun, an angry brontosaurus, and a demonic pelican.

On a stormy and particularly windy Halloween night, all of the neighborhood kids were out and about tricking themselves into bucket loads of candy and confections. The festivities were packed, and all manner of children and old folk were enjoying the delightful creepiness of the evening. Billy eagerly hid behind bushes and laughed hysterically as he dashed out like a man possessed at passing girls. They erupted into high pitched shrieks and cursed him fiercely as they scurried away from him. He was parading around in his newest costume that night; a fully equipped mock up of a terrifying horned otter.

As the night progressed, several kids reported a dark figure accosting them on various side streets. The mysterious bandit was dressed in a fur like pelt, a very angry, gerbil esque mask, and they noticed a foul, gamey smell. They were certain that it was Billy, up to his old tricks, who’d been spotted earlier snorting around like a rabid beast while attempting to steal their candy baskets. Several concerned parents stormed out to confront Billy’s parents, but they were told that Billy overdosed on stolen candy hours earlier, and had been sound asleep for hours. They were all certain that the ravaging rodent was none other than Billy, but they were mistaken; the mystery persists to this day.

Moving right along….

Day 14 – Elvis still gets 100 Valentines each year. Tell about one of the people who sent one.

If you knew little ol’ Gertrude Van Buren, you’d know within the first five minutes of meeting her that she was, and still is, the number one super fan of the legendary Elvis Presley. She’d chat your ear off about her signed records and would gushingly explain how, while in the front row at one of his Memphis shows in ’61, she sobbed her eyes out and fainted when he shook those famous hips of his. Although she was carried out of the show on a stretcher shortly thereafter, she will tell you to this day that being in front of his gyrating crotch was the best time of her life. She was in love, and she’d remind you time and again.

Visiting her house is a veritable shrine to the man; posters, paintings, statues, concert memorabilia, a life sized mannequin complete with white leather, rhinestones, and mutton chop sideburns, and a stack of meticulously and alphabetically arranged records. She’s toured Graceland (12 times), his birthplace in Tupelo, and even hired an Elvis lookalike to strip for her at her bachelorette party. Her first born son (Elvis Ebenezer Hounddog Van Buren) is a proud Elvis impersonator, having performed at numerous regional festivals, while her daughter, Elviscera Memphis Graceland, also keeps the Elvis spirit alive by performing his songs nude at various adult night clubs.

True fans like Gertrude will perpetually remind you that they are true fans; she recently inked her undying adoration on her ankle. A lively tattoo for a very lively and adoring number one Elvis fan.

Check out http://www.concreteorchid.com to learn about Andrea’s Elvis fan!

Day 13 – Write about a random picture you would find in an envelope of finished prints at Costco.

This question is actually very interesting to me, because I haven’t actually printed a photo in years. I am completely enveloped within the realm of the digital age, and have not taken an actual picture with actual film (what’s film, you say?) in ages. That being said, I’m sure people still print photos, and I’m sure photo developers are still developing some should not be developed in public type shots.

I’m sure that at one point or another, we’ve all wanted to snap a shot, only to realize that it only seemed like a good idea at the time. Or, we’ve taken a shot, forgotten that we took that shot, and were surprised to see it again in broad daylight on our negatives. I knew a few people that developed photos back in the day, and they did indeed come across some shots that the photographer may or may not have intended anyone else to see.

Sorry to say it, but I’m imagining some random x-rated shot ending up in the random envelope, with the developer printing a copy and showing his/her friends as they all burst out into laughter (and the pic invariably ending up on the internet somewhere). People do it all the time, and I’m sure shots like that tend to make the day of the developer. After all of the hum drum vacation photos, family reunions, and day to day pictures, it probably is unexpected hilarity to get a few good skin shots.

Check out http://www.concreteorchid.com to see what Andrea would find lurking in a random Costco envelope…..

Day 12 – What is your favorite day of the week?

Sunday – Good until about 5 pm, or until you fully realize that the routine of Monday morning is inevitable.

Monday – The day of the week when you wish that you had a different profession, and/or wish that you’d studied harder in school (or studied at all); essentially the day of the week that you wish you could be on a beach instead of in a cubicle.

Tuesday – essentially Monday part two.

Wednesday – Midway through the week, with just enough of a flicker of candle light at the end of the tunnel to realize that you’ve actually made it midway through the week.

Thursday – Making headway now; getting harder and harder to stay motivated at work with the last day of the week looming.

Friday – All desire to be a productive employee evaporates; Friday is slow until 5 p.m., but it’s smooth sailing after that.

Saturday – The day to complete all normal errands and duties that you didn’t feel like doing throughout the week, which generally consumes the morning/afternoon. Saturday night should ideally be spent unwinding.

My favorite day of the week? I’ll take Saturday any day of the week!

Head on over to http://www.concreteorchid.com to see my sister’s favorite day of the week!

*****Please Excuse The Interruption*****

Due to a brief one day hiatus in the writing project (there’s nothing on the books for day 11), there will be no post today; tune in tomorrow for Day 12! As a consolation, I present an Arthur Prysock classic, “Your Body Makes Eyes At Me”, from the album, ‘This is My Beloved’. Fantastic Friday night listening…grab a drink, kick back, and enjoy.

Booyah! 10 days into this challenge, and still going strong.

Day 10 – What do you want to be remembered for?

Who you are and how you choose to live your life will ultimately dictate your legacy, if indeed you earn one. What will people remember about ol’ Gary, if anything? I earnestly hope that I am remembered for having some sort of positive impact on at least one person’s life; to have aided, assisted, or helped to improve someone in some small way. I think that’s all we can hope for, in terms of being remembered. Creating an atmosphere of happiness, a sphere of goodwill that others can feed off of; it’s as simple as a smile here, a kind gesture there, or words of encouragement for those in need. As the cliche goes, the smallest, most meaningless things to you may have an enormous impact on others; it’s all about sharing the wealth, creating a culture of balance, and solidifying an uplifting foundation. If I’m to be remembered, I want to be remembered as the guy that always had a genuine smile for everyone that I met. In my eyes, there is no greater lasting legacy.

Moving right along! Today’s topic deals with a personal favorite of mine, and tugs at my heart strings like a drunken open heart surgeon.

Day 9 – What was your favorite childhood toy?

I LOVE TOYS. That’s the only appropriate way to begin this piece. Toys were an incredibly important element of my childhood; I was that kid that loved toys so much, that I meticulously laid the blueprint for my December 25th by plotting my Christmas list in June. I eagerly awaited the arrival of the gigantic Spiegel catalog that would arrive fresh and new during the end of summer, and I’d spend the next few months with my nose wedged between those pages searching for the shiny new goods that I’d ask Santa for. If it was a toy, I wanted it. My imagination was never ending, and toys were somewhat of an escape into a world of action; a realm where heroes ruled, and where the muzzle flash of machine gun fire lit up the night sky.

There were He-Man toys; mid sized, non poseable, and only fun for about 15 minutes. There were Star Wars toys; stiff legged mini statues that were essentially only fun to look at. My sister had her fair share of Barbie dolls, and I took great pleasure in loading them up into her giant red convertible and crashing it into a wall. Oddly enough, my mother thought that it was a good idea to buy me a Cabbage Patch doll named Denny Cody; that bad boy came decked out in a KC Royals outfit, and that gift was quite the surprise. I even had a Michael Jackson doll (the Beat It version) as well as an MC Hammer doll, complete with battery powered silver boom box and glittery gold Hammer pants.

The king of all toys though, was the G.I. Joe. This fully poseable, fully playable lord of colored plastics littered our house like flotsam after the storm of the century. My brother and I would spend our time setting up entire G.I. Joe worlds, only to realize that once we took all day to set them up, we really didn’t feel like playing with them anymore. The real fun was being transported to that zone; that fantasy world where action ruled, and where guys named Buzzer and Ripper terrorized the world as members of the evil organization Cobra. Boys thrive on action, and G.I. Joe was able to rescue me from the real world, and transplant me into a land of gut wrenching glory, larger than life patriotism, and endless playability. G.I. Joe – a real American hero.

Check out http://www.concreteorchid.com to see what toys my sister obsessed over as a kid!

I’ve surpassed the 1 week mark on the challenge; take a look at today’s offerings!

Day 8 – Tell your life story from someone else’s point of view.

I can accurately be described as a semi closed, multiple volume set of encyclopedias, but in all honesty, who isn’t? Most individuals are not altogether transparent. There are very few people that walk around with life stories printed on their foreheads for all to see. Information is essentially given when required, and if not, it’s kept within those dusty volumes that we store inside of our brains. Here’s how a conversation about me would typically transpire:

Person 1 – “So who’s that Gary guy”?

Person 2 – “Well, um, he’s that one guy, right? The black one”?

Person 1 – “Yeah, that’s him. What’s his story”?

Person 2 – “Um, I dunno. Beats me, dude”.

The end.

Or perhaps it would go like this:

Dude 1 – “From what I know about Gary, uh, he’s a pretty legit dude, man. He speaks very highly of his family, friends, and acquaintances, and is a pretty mild mannered and righteous mother. Like, he’s definitely, like, pretty chill. I think his experiences in life have shaped him in like a way that allows him to like see the world in a whole different light, bro. You know what I mean. He’s like a thinker, man…he’s pretty philosophical. I don’t know too much about his life, you know, but what I do know is pretty cool. Booyah, bro. Peace out”.

That’s probably how it would go. I can be very vague, so Dude 1 would have to surmise based on a general lack of solid facts.

Get your butt on over to www.concreteorchid.com for my sister’s take on the Day 8 challenge!