Tagged: thoughts

Monotony – A Story – Part 5

The highlight of our childish creativity was The Bunker, a hollowed out cluster of unused shelving, walled with a carefully crafted facade of boxes that concealed an inner homemade bar. To the untrained eye, it wouldn’t even garner a second look; it was identical to any other normal, mundane, ordinary wall of boxes. However, this particular Great Wall of Cardboard masterfully concealed a super-secret hideout within that rivaled something that a James Bond villain would have constructed, or perhaps it resembled the lair of some comic book bad guy. In it was our headquarters, our command tent, our private lounge that served as our secret war cabinet. Our Round Table, with each of us looking to fill our Holy Grails with whatever was on tap that day. The effort that went into crafting bubble wrap and cardboard La-Z-Boy recliners and cotton stuffed sleeping mats was labor intensive. Not to mention surreptitiously loading our liquid stash in and out through the drop down hatch that we cut through the wood slats of the pallets that served as the roof. Our cooler was always stocked to the gills with a variety of suds. This was the real deal for us. That was our debaucherous shrine, and we’d retreat to The Bunker to devour a few bottles or cups of the drink of the day, every day. And when we weren’t in our venerated safe zone, we’d just down our spirits from the red plastic Solo cups in broad daylight like it was a house party. Like we owned the joint.

We developed into exceptional drinkers; a functional alcoholism that allowed us to perform at our best with just the right amount of whiskey flowing through our veins. We’d field instructions, calmly attend meetings, and cheerfully converse with the front office staff while being lit to the core on liters of Rum and Diet Dr. Pepper. And no one was the wiser. It was the only way we were able to make it through the monotony of the day, a monotony which by now I hope you sincerely feel. It was an alcohol fueled, fun steeped binge that lasted for years, and invariably suffused our livers and our minds with loads of lasting good memories. But all good things must end at some point, right? The question ticked in my brain every single day, like a turgid time bomb just waiting to explode; what the hell was my purpose? There had to be something that I was good at in life. Thoughts like this lingered in my head on a regular basis as I walked the aisles up and down filling orders. Whatever that ‘something’ was, wasting away under layers of box dust was not it. What was I good at? I was in my twenties, but felt as if I was past my prime, or as if I’d missed the ferry to Success Town. I felt utterly left behind by life, and my fun, yet counterproductive daily dealings only resigned me to that early grave and kept me pinned tightly. There just had to be more to life than this.

4-8-15

Like clockwork, I remembered…
fragrant thoughts,
like the heavy scent of lilac
sprinting over green fields,
or like a dusky hued evening
kissed just slightly by a
thick, honeyed sun-
I paused and reflected on that-
just a memory of a moment that
altered my course,
of a moment that shifted my tides
forever,
like a stream that meanders
and trades its banks over time..
like clockwork, I remembered,
as I often do…
and I’ll never forget*

2-11-15

The sun glinted off of the window in a soft, muted
gray,
and crept through the slats of the shutters
with a deliberately dreamy patience-
I awoke gently, silent and calm,
as if I’d slept for just a moment only-
I lay there in the room,
knitting thoughts like a patchwork quilt,
weaving decisions in and through like
a thousand tiny seams…
lost, yet grounded-
found, but drifted into the solitary end of the frame-
thoughts of you whisked up a wind in the stillness
as you danced and swirled into sentences muttered
into the echoes-
thoughts of you danced past stolen hopes
and charged to the forefront,
where the grass was thick and verdant, and the sky
kissed down in rains of cobalt and rebirth, and the breeze
dusted off of the trees in melodies of blooming laughter-
the day began then,
as the sun arose and whispered through the shutters
in hues of pale yellow and hollow gray,
but you were there, as I lay alone with my patchwork
thoughts,
you were there at the forefront,
the mast that kept me grounded,
the seam that held the world so tight-
the solitary edge of the frame that was fit for us alone,
under the cobalt sky, kissed by the rains of rebirth*